2003-05-25

1:23 p.m.

I had a restless night last night. I kept having crazy dreams. I was warning my little sister about rock and roll boys and drinking.

So I am barely awake and it is well after noon. I hope to get back to my editing while listening to �This American Life�. That seems like an educated thing to do. I just hope J calls me soon. She said that she is coming out my way to check out the Tj Max for certain dishes. I think her mother, who lives 2,000 miles away requested that all the metro area Tj�s be scanned for these certain dishes. I need housewares like I need to move again but I�ll be happy for the break.

I am thinking about cake donuts and scenesters this morning. The donut thing comes from watching a travel channel special a week ago about all the best donut places. I love the sprinkle cake donut. And the scenester thing comes from being at the festival last night.

I used to go out at least three times a week. Four or five times was not uncommon. This may be a city area but nevertheless it�s a small town. Plus my going out activities were most often music based and similar tastes tend to lend themselves to seeing sim9ilar people. Somewhere along the line some people got mad about this. I started to here events described as �hipster� and/or �scenester� at first I thought it might be a good thing.

�Oh the Peaches show will for sure be a hipster scene�. My thoughts: �Good I need some leather, malnutritioned asses and sideburns to look at.�

But alas, these comments held a cynical tone. I think some people are angry. Jealous maybe? Frustrated that they can�t be the only person in the room to see what they believe to be an obscure indie rock band? Lighten up.

I guess it is hard to lighten up when your personal identity is intrinsic to your musical tastes. It�s not fun to share your identity with other people I guess. After seeing people out and about last night at the packed festival. I wondered what all of it meant to them individually. Were they there to be seen or out of a burning love for the music or to dance or because there are hot chick there? What, ya know?

We ran into a guy, one of the several short pseudo -commie corridor residents I first met when I moved to the city. His teeth looked like banana chiclets due to a couple years on the horse which might explain why I had to introduce myself even though he was best friends with a guy I dated for a year and he had stayed at my apartment a couple times. Hey, he�s clean now and that�s not the point.

We made small talk and he witted about his numerous techno dancing moves and told us that the band to see that night was in the underground stage � �ESG, now that�s where it�s at,� he tells us even though that�s why I�ve waited around in the cold with my peeps. I was there by recommendation and not personal interest so I could care one way or the other but he had to go and add, �It�s like indie rock central down there,� as he tilts his head toward the underground stage �[So and So and So and So] they are all there, it�s like this type of techno music is ok to like, but not the other.� He shakes his head as if he was the founding father of techno, militant social activist for pure electronic music, and one of the three people that knew ESG was playing.

It�s a free festival my friend.

I think that had a lot to do with why I spent the rest of the evening thinking about how I wanted to go home to my computer and work on my editing. I don�t feel that comfortable going out as much as I used to. I just want to be around happy,(or) interesting people with real souls. There seems to be such an aura of posturing around these social activities. I know that having been to the other side of life and back a lot of individuals� entertainment concerns just don�t ring true for me.

Now, the cake donut. That�s truth and beauty dunked in god�s grease and goodness. The sprinkle encourages an innocence and purity that has no bias or hang-ups.

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