2003-02-03

11:16 p.m.

I think that a secret side effect that pops up around three months out of cancer treatment is anger. Well, I think some people that are closer to me wouldn�t think it was such a secret. However, I am experiencing a general pissed off feeling that is hard to shake.

Of course it doesn�t help one bit that �Sarah� from Joe Millionaire has a moaning problem. I am also very angry with her. I am enraged that some of my friends do not rely on email as much as I do for communications. I am certainly bitter that more people my age don�t have cancer. I mean sure, I am dedicating my life to raise money and awareness for the cure and all but that doesn�t mean I like to be alone in this misery. Is this reasonable?

Well I can�t very well go a couple rounds with the surgeon who left the most conspicuous scar on my shoulder or the numerous other health �professionals� that have left me out to dry. Shrugging their scar-free shoulders at mysterious side effects and debilitating headaches. They could have at least given me a note for my professors that excuses me from talking in class or homework because I have chemo brain. Or they could have handed over some money or snacks or something to help out.

Maybe I have an idea for a fundraiser here. How much would people pay to beat up their lackluster health care professional? Well, including me and the one shady chick I met at the G-Club, I think the whole thing would raise about fifteen dollars. Most people tend to adapt an appreciative attitude toward the individuals that help them. Not me. I�m pissed.

I feel so much better.

I love pink and red Valentine�s Day merchandise more than life.

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