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2002-11-09

12:06 a.m.

I am so sad now that my sister left. I�m sure she has teenage things to do with her weekend. She came out late last night after I got home from class. We stayed up late watching a dvd and laughing our asses off. She may be 17 but the girl is highlar-E-US.

We pre-purchased tickets over the phone for the earliest showing possible. I was sick with anxiety and stress and thought we wouldn�t get good seats and that the place would be packed up until we walked into the theater. I told S who came along for the craziness that she might have to jump out, get her tickets and hold some seats. I felt a little goofy after we finally got in the place to find only four teenage Eminem fans sitting in the back of the huge theater. I was hoping my little sister wouldn�t realize what an insane controlling anxiety maniac I have become. I think S caught on since she left right quick after we had some burgers at the Hunter House.

How was I supposed to know? I thought everyone would have hometown pride. And I am sure they do but they all waited until after 5 to express it.

It was great to see the D on the big screen. I liked the driving footage with glimpses of the heidelberg �dots� every so often. I thought the story was pretty good and I can�t think of any reason that Kim Basinger should have been in the film with her straightened hair trying to pass as a trailer mom in 1995. Where�s the banana clip? Even a perm would have been more believable. These nuances in the narrative can really destroy the viewing experience.

K and I got up early this morning and went to the most fabulous breakfast place in the universe. My ultracoolkind knitting pal from Gilda�s Club told me to check out this place that hasn�t changed a thing in like 45 years.

The turquoise stools and chairs alongside the formica tabletops made my eyes sting with tears of happiness. There was one waitress-slash-cook. She was also a heavy smoker. K and I munched away quietly most of the time while the waitress asked us a few questions. After a short pause she asked us if we were going to the �Eminem movie.� People everywhere are crazed about it. Even 80 year old restaurant babes.

My evening hasn�t been as hot as my exciting day. I checked out another apartment today. I liked it just fine but it sent me into another tizzy. Moving, even thinking about moving again sends my head into a swirling stressmess of boxes, purchasing furniture and other things I can�t afford and keeping up with work and school. And mainly, disassembling my computer desk which is essentially what is keeping me here in the first place. Since today I found out that D is nuthin but another wishy-washy punk who can�t make me feel better and give me the luvin and reassurance I need, let alone take apart my computer desk.

Ok, and getting my own places stirs up that little wee scary break-in/attack of January 2002 I have been trying to get past.

I should have had my sister stay another night. I prefer to just watch movies and not think about this shit.

huh? - 2004-01-15
resolutions - 2004-01-09
video reason - 2003-12-30
sik - 2003-12-06
voiceless - 2003-11-19

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