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2002-10-08
10:18 p.m.
2002-10-08
4:39 p.m.
So tired again. I had a night of stressful dreams. I was trying to get into a party in my old apartment building that was hosted by some ex-ish friends of mine. I was refused and ignored (or ignored and refused- whatever). I don�t like those dreams that continue to creep you out long after you open your eyes. Especially the ones where you don�t have to dig too deep to make psychological connections. I�m almost ashamed that I haven�t buried my fears and issues into more deeply coded dreams. Including the hour-each-way drive, yesterday�s University of Michigan appointment took over 5 hours. Getting a second opinion is tiring. I am exhausted from gathering records and films and bad attitudes. I am hoping that it will be worth it in the end. Dr. K from U of M is like, the lymphoma master so I am consulting with the best of them. I waited nearly forty minutes in the "women�s gowned waiting room" for my radiation treatment this morning. I finally asked at the front desk what was taking so long and the nurse told me they didn�t even know I was there. They gave me a credit card thingy to swipe for check in � mine must be broken. My long wait wasn�t too bad though because two of the older ladies were rapping about how today was their last day of treatment. I found it inspirational. I hope I can kick it out until I am 86 like the one woman. I�m tired today which lends to my pessimism so I feel like I�ve already got odds stacked against me from all this early life cancer BS. I only need to make it through this evening�s worlds most boring grad class and then I can sleep sleep sleep. Here�s hoping for more relaxing dreams. huh? - 2004-01-15 resolutions - 2004-01-09 video reason - 2003-12-30 sik - 2003-12-06 voiceless - 2003-11-19
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