2002-09-03

3:02 p.m.

Good god my bone marrow aches. I tried to put off going into work until the last possible minute since I have a late night with school starting this evening and all. I thought I would be excited � energized like I was last week during orientation. Last week was pre-chemo. I am post-chemo and three bone-swelling nuepogen shots into the week. I�m not so enthused about sitting in a classroom, "going around the room and introducing myself." The smell of my water bottle might as well be the floor of a dairy farm�s milking room.

I did get a bit of physical exercise in this morning though. I walked to the library and stopped at the local bagel place. One of those places that have the cartoon brothers with glasses for their logo. After I ordered my bagel with glop-o-cream I grabbed a pulp-free OJ and waited for my total. As I was waiting I looked down to see a small paper cup, probably one of those they use for serving soup, filled with major cash. It was then that I flashed back to stopping at a similar bagel/coffee/eyegalssed brother place months ago. I remember the young chap ringing me up and announcing my total � a buck thirty �something or rather. At that time I looked down at the counter and saw a very similar paper cup filled with change. I remember thinking that the suburbs must have a very active "have a penny, give a penny" program since this particular change cup was full of silver. Instead of fishing through my cluttered change purse I grabbed my thirty-something cents right out of the paper cup right in front of the young fella. He didn�t wince a bit and now, thinking back he probably should have. It wasn�t until seeing the paper-money filled soup server cup this morning that I realized that is the freaking TIP jar. Yep, I stole tips in front of bagel employees to buy myself coffee and I am thinking about it months later. Why aren�t these things labeled?

Why am I still nauseous? Cancer treatment is positively inhumane.

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