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2002-07-07

11:05 a.m.

A terrible time with treatment number three has prevented me from writing for longer than 30 seconds at a time.

The nausea and pain has "broken" as far as I can tell.

I would like to chalk up another strike against all things natural. Maybe it's because I am chemical woman now, my body refuses anything "natural".

Natural vegetable laxative is not as kind as it sounds. The stuff the conspiracy nurses gave me for my "side effects" doubled my uncomfort level. On top of the normal creepiness and nausea I had stomach pains that gave me goose bumps every five minutes. Oh, the pain!

This made it hard for me to enjoy the fourth of July. Between stomach cramps, nausea and being one blink away from a near eternal sleep I couldn't take in the fireworks with as much pleasure as I normally do.

Well, I don't want to switch this journal to the "crapping chronicles of chemo girl" or anything but my bowels have been the number one thing on my mind - and that is before friends and family.

My productivity is still at top performance. I finished three projects yesterday and will be making the strap for my hot knitted purse this afternoon. I tried to tell D that I am starting to believe that female humans in particular have an innate desire to create things. Anything. That's why Michael�s craft store has aisles and aisles of ready-to-assemble-not-at-all-unique crafts. It's something we have to do.

I've noticed that since I was diagnosed my urge to make shit has quadrupled. Maybe it's a subconscious nudging to make something that will carry on after Hodgkin�s gets me. Maybe when one thinks they are going to croak one feels it necessary to make crafts for friends and family that they may not like but they will be forced to hang on to since one made it that is about to pass away.

If I can't have children to carry on a part of me, I see no shame in latch-hooking a pre-made design to make a sensible, yet handmade pillow as a Christmas gift.

huh? - 2004-01-15
resolutions - 2004-01-09
video reason - 2003-12-30
sik - 2003-12-06
voiceless - 2003-11-19

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